To Guide Others Spiritually, You Need to Unlearn Your *Urge* to Guide Others First
Stop forcing people to walk spiritually.
Have you ever felt annoyed when you see people living superficially?
Do you feel angry when they neglect their spiritual side and focus on trivial things? They might cringe at your words when you tell them about their highest self.
This becomes especially true when the person is close and dear. You want them to progress, but they just don’t want to.
Does that mean they are not on their spiritual path??
Your learning means nothing for most people.
For years, I was confused about what exactly I wanted.
I wanted to prove myself. But I also wanted to be like Buddha. Peaceful. Serene.
Growing spiritually made me more aware of my shortcomings. I worked on them silently and found more stability within. When I saw a similar thing happening to someone close, I’d suggest them the same.
Free advice? Almost always wrong to give.
They would backfire at me and say, “How would you know what I’m going through or what is even right for me?”
True.
It took me years to understand that not everybody requires a deeper answer. Some are looking for distraction. Some look for comfort or solace.
Does that mean they are wrong to seek that?
Of course not!
The hidden purpose of life.
Many people have asked me, “What is the purpose of life? What is my purpose?”
I ask you.
What is the purpose of a flower that blooms? Does it bloom for you? Does it need your appreciation? Will your criticism affect it?
Of course not.
A flower can bloom in the middle of the city or in the wilderness all alone. It does not matter. It is the natural quality of the bud to flower to its full potential.
Likewise, the life that flows through humans wants to flower to the highest.
The highest flowering is one for all humans. It is self-realization.
But the path to it varies. Billions of people live, and life expresses itself in billions of ways through them.
Let life flow without your judgments.
Everyone has a right to live the way they want to. Nobody has to seek permission or make anyone understand.
You do you. They do they. Nothing is wrong.
You are not here to make anyone happy. But if you can’t satisfy or find an expression of yourself, that is wrong. You can express it in any way.
The same applies to another person. Expression does not necessarily have to be spiritual.
And you know what?
Every person is walking towards their self.
You may recognize it or not. They may or may not know. The path may seem twisted, or there may seem to be no path.
Someone might be addicted to sex or things. Someone might be running after money or power. Someone might be selfish and mean.
Can we judge them? Can we know for sure that they are lost?
Maybe they are. Maybe they are not.
Yes, you may try to show them the right path. You may try to lead by example. You may try to shower your love and support.
But if they refuse your help or ignore your kind actions, then that is their path.
And that is your learning as well.
We all are really walking each other home.
You may think your journey is separate from others or have an independent route.
Well, it is foolish to think that way.
Our journeys are individual, but they are never separate from others. We meet people or encounter certain situations that catalyze our growth. Each person’s journey is unique and valuable, contributing to the collective growth.
Acceleration happens when we become entangled with others. The more entanglement and attachment, the more intense the journey and the faster the speed of inner growth.
It is a critical moment to learn and unlearn.
Once, Buddha was staying in a village. One of the natives was enraged at his teachings. He hated his words. The more people praised Buddha, the more infuriated he became.
He thought of teaching him a lesson.
When Buddha was giving a sermon, he came near and spat on him in his rage.
The nearby disciples got furious. They wanted to thrash that person.
“How dare he!”
But Buddha stopped his disciples.
He took out a cloth and wiped his face. Then he calmly said to that person, “I understood this. Do you want to say something else as well?”
Buddha had a different path, and that villager had another path. Disciples had other learning.
Same situation. Different learnings to different people.
Don’t try to teach. Try to learn/unlearn.
You have your own learnings. The person who seems far away from his inner self has their own journey.
You can never push anyone to see what you see.
But you may inspire them by living authentically.
Looking down, criticizing, and judging don’t work, while patience, love, and compassion always do.
The speed may be different from what you might expect. The growth trajectory may not always seem right. Sometimes, you may be baffled when you are too preoccupied and focused on them.
Best bet — Focus on what you are learning.
Fill your plate before you serve others. Everybody is walking home, whether we recognize it or not.
Final Thoughts
It is common for people on their inner journey to have a compassionate urge to guide others. You don’t want them to suffer and cut short their journeys.
But the truth is, we all have our journeys, and nothing can be cut short. No matter how desperately you want it.
Honor their journey. They don’t need you to save them. They just need your kind and loving presence in turmoils.
It becomes easy to embrace their unique journey when you totally embrace yours. Judgments drop. Trust in life develops.
After all, home is within.
The speed may vary to reach the home, but nobody can truly get lost.
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Lovely and so true.